The Pursuit of Everything

A distinct difference in the current time from the yore is the surfeit of everything around us. Earlier devoid of supply of demand, now we are spoilt for choices; however the supply still remains unattended - the culprit not being the victuals which are available in plenty but the unavailability of time which renders taking even a morsel a hurried and exasperating experience. So, what a cataclysm for those who want to revel and partake in everything conceivable on this earth. Ever pushed from one thing to another, jostled from one place to another, their life becomes a veritable carousel of sorts. This scramble doesn’t sate them either, rather it demeans their achievements to mere footnotes and in turn, fosters in them the urge to chase more things. The irony is not lost though - this pursuit of everything never ends, and the chasers instead remain seated on the unstopping whirligig of wishes.

What to abandon then – the pursuit or the goals? The answer should be both, however sacrilegious it may sound. In modern times, enough goals have been achieved, it is time now to savour them rather than go after next ones. And savour them with grace and gratitude. And in the end, always remember -an unhurried sense of time is in itself a great form of wealth.

India Visited

During my training in NADT, I have to visit many places, some for work and some just for sight-seeing. India thus is coming to me in many unseen ways. And the diversity and the associated pride of its uniqueness is shown when I travel across the length and breadth of the country. While Mumbai was chaotic in its centre and beautiful in the Necklace Marine Drive, Kolkata has been an assault on senses and invigorating on perception both by its madness and historical beauty.

Now at present I am in Bangalore, the so-called Garden City, IT City or Silk City of India. While the sprawl of urban development is very noticeable, the underlying breakage of it by the population growth is also on the cards. So, while it excites, it also makes you pity about the coming days. Anyway isn’t it the story of the whole India? However, the visit to Mysore was a long-time dream fulfilled. But how dampener it turned out to be. Mysore Palace was good, if not stupendous, but the biggest letdown was Tipu Sultan’s museum, palace and kingdom of Seringapatam. The place is nothing but a dilapidated state of affairs with nothing reminiscent of yore existing. That’s why people say, “Don’t expect much when visiting places, because every person is mortal and every place nothing more than mortar”.

I have to go to the unchartered terrains of North-east next week. And I can’t help being excited about it. Guwahati, Shillong and Arunachal Pradesh are on the itinerary. Above all though, I am roused to feel the isolated but beautiful part of the country which has so long remained in maps only for us. Different food, different language and culture, different environs …. India never fails to amaze me!!!

Life at NADT

Post UPSC result and marriage, I spent my 6 months at home. This was the longest I had spent at home since going to boarding school in my childhood. So, in more ways than one, it was a memorable stay. However, it was also devoid of the usual hustle-bustle which my life had got accustomed to in previous years. In short, the period was an extended relaxation phase, prior to the onslaught of the rigours of government job I was about to undertake.

I arrived at National Academy of Direct Taxes (NADT), Nagpur on 22^nd Dec, 2012, for my training for Indian Revenue Service (IT). As I had heard, the academy was very attractive from the first look itself, nice verdant environs, good hostels nestled in between, with various sports complexes dotting the space. It was reminiscent of Sainik School Tilaiya, only with better facilities. And I was absorbed by the settings like a bee to a flower. The pain of staying away from the family for such a long time (16 months) is thus lessened to an extent by the opportunity the academy provides in sports, academics and other activities. And I know there are a few things which I might be doing for the last time in life here.

So, life at NADT is actually reliving the life of learning, where its wheels keep on moving non-stop, but at the end of day, I do realize I have traversed some distance of substance, some distance of self-discovery.

Good Bye, Amdocs !

I have not written anything, implicit or explicit, about my company, Amdocs, till now, in any of my blogs. The reasons range from a formal don’t, read company policy, of not writing any personal view in an open world , to a general lack of interest on any company topic in my personal space/blog. However, as I bid adieu to the company today after working here for 5 years, I feel an inner compulsion and desire both to put forth my views on it.

Amdocs has meant so much to me, that a part of me will always be addressed by it. I remember the day we got selected for it in our Campus Recruitment at the College; it was merriment for all. Post-joining in Pune, I got a chance to move to Cyprus, which I still reckon is the best phase of my life. Not only for the changed and excellent environs it provided, but for the instillation of the ‘excellence’ ethos. I had lost this ethos somewhere in the mad rush during my school and college times. My foreign travels (business or personal), my work experience, my cultural interactions, my learnings etc at Amdocs shaped my views greatly. I re-got the urge and desire to excel, in whatever field, company, project etc I work on.

Often we lament about the company, supposedly on its poor pay, bad working conditions, reduced travels, fewer growth opportunities …. But the reality is these cribs and carps will remain even if we work in heaven. If we focus just on the positives, Amdocs is one of the best companies, and it still remains so.

Having said that, no company or sector is without the need for improvement. My personal experience accumulated over the years has felt for these many times. The biggest problem with the company and IT sector in general, is the sense of aloofness or alienation that gets generated amongst the employees.  Easier money, a relatively better life style, an AC laced cubicle… all bring indifference and lethargy on the employee’s part; while the work pressure and requirements, its secluded domain etc further ensures that an employee is detached from anything outside its campus. So, a person might be very good in company’s work, Amdocs methodologies, APRM terms etc, but when he sees himself vis-à-vis the rest of the world, he is practically zilch in comparison. And the worst part is that this anomaly grows over the years, and when one realizes it after many years, he feels he could have known and done much more for himself, family, friends, society than just get tangled in phone calls, Internet, emails etc

A lot of this is attributed to our wrong philosophies. The term ‘Customer is the King’ is so grossly misused and misinterpreted that I practically hate it now. There can be no other king in this world than yourself, and people you work with. To satisfy Customers’ unjustified requirements and our own endless desire for package/post promotion, seniors’ appreciation, bonus, incentive etc that we openly flout the basic norms of behavior. For me, the most excruciating part has been to tell my juniors or team members to do a work in 1 day when I myself knew it will take 2 or 3 days. It is not only wrong, but also immoral. Similarly, the sense of guilt has overtaken me many times, when I have browsed Facebook when there is important pending work. Someone watching Youtube in critical office hours is as bad as a manager scheduling meetings deliberately after 6 pm. Someone shooting emails at 1 am in the night, when he could have done that in office hours is an inefficient person, to speak it bluntly, unless it is emergency. Office hours are sufficient, if properly managed from both upper and lower ends, for the work. The rest should be used for personal development – guitar lessons, gym, exams preparation, movies, books, family and friends bonding, computer programming, general awareness etc whatever is relevant to the person. If indeed one is seriously interested in the project or application, he should study advanced things of those after office hours, and not do routine tasks.

Thus, for me, the criteria for the success of a project aren’t just the timelines it achieved, or the reduced number of defects it had, but actually they are also the general growth, empowerment and happiness it brought to its stakeholders, including the employees who delivered it. Not that I have followed my words every time, but there has been a sincere attempt from my side to meet them. I have not been an overtly ambitious and over achieving employee of Amdocs. However, what I know is that I have done my work sincerely keeping not only the professional expectations in mind but also the basic human and social norms in front. This can be judged, better though, by my colleagues, team members and managers.

As I move into the Civil Services of Indian Government, I will have to confront different and probably bigger challenges and opportunities. There will be definitely some positives but also hitherto unknown negativities, viz. nepotism, corruption, inefficiency etc. I only hope that I appreciate the grand scope of its work, and also fight, to my level and capability, against the odd elements. And for that, I know, my life lived in Amdocs will always help me. Thank you and sincere gratitude to you, Amdocs!

A thing called Marriage

There isn’t any other topic than marriage on which more discourses, jokes or lessons have been written. And now I know the reason why.

There have been moments when I have ruminated about my marriage with both apprehension and expectation. Sometimes blogs like these - Time to Settle, Watching Vivah too have followed. Pre-marriage phase is a conjecture time. You build your views on others preached notions or time-old norms or your own uncertain doubts. So, it is practically a land of unknowns.

Post-marriage phase thus comes as a welcomed and prepared part; however, you are still swept off your feet sometimes. Marriage ceremonies are the first ones. I enjoyed them to the hilt, trying to follow each of them for its importance and meaning. I had thought that I would become a bit occasion conscious, but thankfully I was normal all the time. However, the moment the pandit said, after sindur daan and phera that a few moments ago, you both have entered into marriage life, I was taken aback for a second, for the realization of the change in my life.

The usual honeymoon and travelling followed, which needless to say was good, nay brilliant. Your in-laws become your additional family, and you cater to them, probably with more respect and attention. Your immediate workspace and territory gets redefined. I had never thought I would be buying ladies salwaar suit in a shop, looking completely buffoon with my choices. But as people say, with time, these expertise too will come.

Finally and most importantly, your better half. This is where it all stops and revolves; all your habits, thoughts, ideas, beliefs, love, career, ambitions etc are unfulfilled without a suitable spouse. In fact, life is distorted if there is no complementary soul for you. Again thankfully, I got the perfect one which I desired.

It has been just 1 month, but the life around marriage time has been a unique experience. Some of the moments will remain indelible in my mind forever. For the present though, the proverbial ‘marital bliss’ is definitely on….

A Tribute to Sainik School Tilaiya

When I think of my academic career, no stage matches the quality and aura of that of Sainik School Tilaiya. I still remember the day when I boarded the train from Gaya to Koderma, accompanied by my father and mother. I was much younger then, bespectacled, skinny and not so tall. The first day, we were allocated houses, a trunk, a few clothes etc – all to start a new phase of life. I remember my mother’s eyes carrying a few drops of tears when my parents were about to bid adeau. I also wept inconsolably that night, seemingly forlorn in the school. Unsurprisingly, that night, almost every one was sobbing.

We didn’t know it then that we were about to enter a phase of life which would have an imprint on the rest of our lives. The discipline of daily schedule, the orderliness in our behaviour, the quality of teaching, the fervour of comradeship learnt during those days, are a few things that still define me, and probably will do so ever. The pride of sporting the uniform, the intial few days of learning many new games, the fear of seniors which nothing in life can generate again, the bossism over the juniors etc are unique to the life of SST. My five years in the school were the most formative of my years, I can firmly say that, even though I studied later at many prestigious institutes too.

Mostly though, it was the teaching that I recevied there has moulded my career. There I learned the art of studying. My improved English, if that can be called, is solely dedicated to the interest and zeal invoked by Mr MP Menon’s classes. My aptitude in Arts subjects (History, Geography etc) was developed in no small measure by Mr Gyaneshwar Jha, Mr MP Srivastava, Mr Anjani Kumar etc. Maths was a systematic science under Mr DN Pandey. Science subjects were revelation for me under Mr D Maiti, Mr Debashish Das, Mr Panda etc. May be I have exagerrated, but the reality is if I am good in studies now also, it is attributed to SST.

Quiz, Debate, Declamation, Cultural Competitions and various Sports Events of Football, Basketball, Cricket, Volley Ball etc were a few things I have not been fortunate enough to experience again. How good rare days were those then?

I only wish the current students realise the priceless chance that they are receiving here, and utilise it to the fullest extent. It will shape their career, in whatever field their destiny is meant to be. The theme of ‘Forward Ever’ will never fail them, that is one thing I can vouch for.

What it all means

It has been a month, 26 days to be exact, after my results of UPSC Civil Services came. To start off, let me put a disclaimer that this blog is neither a glorified write-up of my so-called achievement nor a showcase of my so-called stardom nor a philosophical discourse on my inner feelings. If ,at all, it appears like that at any juncture, sincere apologies are tendered.

My whole objective of writing this blog is to restropectively observe the underneath meaning of it. The exam, its attached importance, its hyped limelight etc all become backstage players then. On 04^th May, when I was anxiously browsing through the Final Results pdf, remembering God, family etc along the way, the only expectation was to see my name in the list. When my name’s hit happened at rank 339, I felt that something has been achieved. I was the first member in my family, considering even the distant ones, to clear the Civil Services exam. Add it to the grandiose status attached to the exam, more so in Bihar. Soon, the news spread to my parents, fiancee’, brothers, colleagues, family etc to my childhood-colony, school, birth-place, village etc. And it was all crazy, at least, for the first 2 days. So, what I craved for the last 2 years actually became real, and was manifested in many ways in the first 2 ways itself.

A month down the line though, when I actually have time to analyse it, what can I say all about this. Actually many people asked me (in both informal chats and formal interviews) how I prepared for the exams, how I managed to do it while continuing in job, what is my message to the youth & rural people, and what is my favourite food, colour etc !  But actually what I can convey, which has some persistent meaning and value, is the message of how I lived my life in the last few years.

For me, success is such a broad-term, yet individualistic,  term that no one can clearly define it. Otherwise success, and its progeny happiness, wouldn’t have been a Holy-Grail so coveted by all. Thus, I measure my success with my relevance. And the exams are one of the preliminary steps in my ladder of success, which I have constructed based on my aptitude, ability and interest. Thus, Civil Services can’t and shouldn’t be considered the pinnacle of all, and compared with any private job, any social work, any research etc. Each job is good, and each person, if living his life in his job, is equally successful.  For me, a mason dutifully raising a wall of a building on a schorching afternoon is as successful as a housewife selflessly raising her kids. A Tendulkar, an Aamir Khan, an Obama aren’t the only successful persons. A person who lives his life happily 24X7 is.  On the contrary though, the moment we start thinking whether we are happy, we loose the whole plot and become unhappy. Thus, our eternal quest should be to make a balance between what we desire and what we actually have. This has been the biggest lesson for me over the last few years.

And it has actually made a sea-change. I have started enjoying my Office Work, which I considered such a bore not many months back. The UPSC exams were not considered a do-or-die situation. The exam results are not the final destination now. Things are easier to say though, and I have also realised that I haven’t been able to implement more than 5% of it . However, the truth is that even by doing just 5%, I have got so much. I get goosebumps when I realise what I can achieve by doing 50%.

So, to come back to the original question of ‘what it all means’, I can only say- a reconfirmation of my belief, and a boost to my quest. Nothing more, nothing less. And this is the only message I can give: ‘live your life in your context; life is to be lived, not to do anything’. And I know, my words will win their authencity, when and if I can say these even if times of failure!