All India Combine

A man boards a flight from Delhi to Mumbai. As he settles in, he glances up and sees a gorgeous woman boarding the plane. She heads straight towards him and take the seat next to his. Eager to strike up a conversation, he asks ‘Business trip or vacation?’ She smiles and says ‘Business. I’m going to the annual Sexologists convention.’ He swallows hard and calmly asks: “What’s your role at this convention?” ‘Lecturer, “she says, ‘I use my experience to debunk some of the popular myths about sexuality.’ ‘Really?’ ‘What m-m-m-m-myths are those ?’

‘Well,’ she explains, ‘one popular myth is that African men are the best endowed when, in fact, it’s the Tamilians most likely to possess that trait. Another popular myth is that Frenchmen are the best lovers, whereas actually it is Bengalis. However, we have found that the best potential lover in all categories is a Sardar.’

Suddenly, the woman becomes a little uncomfortable and blushes, ‘I’m sorry,’ she says . ‘I shouldn’t be discussing this with you. I don’t even know your name!’

‘Venkatraman!’ the man blurts out. ‘Venkatraman Mukherjee: But all my friends call me Sardar Joginder Singh.

Source :- From a tid-bit section by Khushwant Singh. The old man knows how to charm himself and others :)

The burqaisation of beliefs

I find myself amazed, not distraught, when I read news like this: France and Denmark propose to ban burqa and niqab. For them, these fabric coverings are a sign of repression of feminism. But do they really believe in what they are preaching? Or is it more driven by the now-so-prominent Islamophobia? Where do we draw the line, the reasons or the notions?

I am further amused to notice how this notional aversion has got entrenched in us without any ground provided to it. I see it day in and day out, in each one of us. I see it in myself. I will tell you three such stories of my life:-

1> I was in an informal talk with one of my European female colleagues in office. Somehow our talk digressed to religion and the needless wars it is causing. Muslims invariably surfaced as our discussion topic. But even before I could utter anything, pat came the reply from her, “I don’t care about them. Those buggers ….” Like a servile toady person, in fear of alienating a girl companion, I nodded with a broad grin on my face. I ask both of us now, “What in real tangible terms had any Muslim caused grief to us? Why were we so blindly driven by an idea, bereft of cause or value, about a sect of fellow human beings?”
2> Three years back, in India, I was searching for a good rent-flat where I could live with my three other friends. After some wanderings, we did find a house which satisfied all our needs and requirements. But before we formally agreed on it with our landlord, he asked me separately, “Is any of your friends Muslim?” In order to satiate him, I abruptly replied, with a hint of pride too, “No sir. Not even by any thought.” Ah! What if one of my friends had indeed been a Muslim? Had I deserted him or fought for him that day? I would never know, but I do know that I was a silent abettor of a bush raging fire of hatred and fear, that day.
3> Recently about two months back, I had been to a night club in North Cyprus (unfortunately a disputed territory). Already I had been bewildered a bit, to see relatively good life style there, as opposed to what had been advertised. But when I saw some Turkish Muslim girls, wearing low neckline and high hemline dresses, exposing a lot of flesh, I was astounded, and indeed wondered how advanced they actually were. Hey, did I write ‘advanced’ here? Yes, because this is exactly what I had thought then. “Why were women’s clothes a barometer of so-called intellect, advancement, and emancipation of any society? Wasn’t I too obsessed with this laughable worldly idea of Muslim women being straitjacketed, in both mind and body, with an overdose of clothes?”

I feel ashamed and guilty both, of harbouring and fomenting such views. But I hadn’t developed these, by any means. They had got seeped into me, and they had got internalized because I hadn’t resisted them. In turn, I have got maligned. These are the stories of my life, but such stories are abundant in everyone’s life. And when our strength is tested, these long-held opinions take a devious form and make us do the unthinkable without attributing any reason to it.

That’s why, whenever I come across these views, of banning burqa and niqab, I wonder whether any attempt has been made to understand the reason for the practice. When Barack Obama entreated the Western World from Cairo University to appreciate the beauty of Islam too, he was merely asking to take the veil off our eyes, instead of attempting to take it off supposedly repressed Muslim women. Wish we can really do that, and believe me, we will really see the world more rosily and openly then.

PS: - I am not a supporter of veils or any form of clothes which is dictated by society or religion. Clothing is more of a person’s wish and need. But I do believe that clothes can’t be a judge of someone’s character or personality. Hiding or exposing flesh can incite opinions but shouldn’t corrupt them. That’s why we have a place for both burqa and bikini in this world.

Happy New Year, 2010

The New Year is such an event. Each time I am driven to think again, loud and differently. My two previous blogs would bear testimony to that. 2010 arrives with an added dimension of the ascent of a new decade.

I can’t talk about the last decade, but can certainly certify that 2009 was the best year of my life. Not for the occasions, but for the promise and purpose. The occasions have yet to sprout. 2009 gave me the reason, rhyme and rhythm to think, and that has singularly made a sea-change in how I think. 2010 needs to be the year in which I act what I think. The outcome will take care of itself, as they say.

Apart from that, I seriously look forward to better by blogs. My writing has improved in both quality and frequency, but what is good if not driven towards excellence. Blogging can never be complete if it doesn’t translate and relate thoughts and ideas to the real world we live in. I would make an endeavour to zero in on that world.

What else??? Nothing sort of actually. The flesh and blood remains the same, and the air that it breathes. It’s just that I do that proverbial burying of spent and sinful soul again, and hope to rise in a world where life chimes as it does in Eldorado.

HAPPY NEW YEAR