All India Combine

A man boards a flight from Delhi to Mumbai. As he settles in, he glances up and sees a gorgeous woman boarding the plane. She heads straight towards him and take the seat next to his. Eager to strike up a conversation, he asks ‘Business trip or vacation?’ She smiles and says ‘Business. I’m going to the annual Sexologists convention.’ He swallows hard and calmly asks: “What’s your role at this convention?” ‘Lecturer, “she says, ‘I use my experience to debunk some of the popular myths about sexuality.’ ‘Really?’ ‘What m-m-m-m-myths are those ?’

‘Well,’ she explains, ‘one popular myth is that African men are the best endowed when, in fact, it’s the Tamilians most likely to possess that trait. Another popular myth is that Frenchmen are the best lovers, whereas actually it is Bengalis. However, we have found that the best potential lover in all categories is a Sardar.’

Suddenly, the woman becomes a little uncomfortable and blushes, ‘I’m sorry,’ she says . ‘I shouldn’t be discussing this with you. I don’t even know your name!’

‘Venkatraman!’ the man blurts out. ‘Venkatraman Mukherjee: But all my friends call me Sardar Joginder Singh.

Source :- From a tid-bit section by Khushwant Singh. The old man knows how to charm himself and others :)

The burqaisation of beliefs

I find myself amazed, not distraught, when I read news like this: France and Denmark propose to ban burqa and niqab. For them, these fabric coverings are a sign of repression of feminism. But do they really believe in what they are preaching? Or is it more driven by the now-so-prominent Islamophobia? Where do we draw the line, the reasons or the notions?

I am further amused to notice how this notional aversion has got entrenched in us without any ground provided to it. I see it day in and day out, in each one of us. I see it in myself. I will tell you three such stories of my life:-

1> I was in an informal talk with one of my European female colleagues in office. Somehow our talk digressed to religion and the needless wars it is causing. Muslims invariably surfaced as our discussion topic. But even before I could utter anything, pat came the reply from her, “I don’t care about them. Those buggers ….” Like a servile toady person, in fear of alienating a girl companion, I nodded with a broad grin on my face. I ask both of us now, “What in real tangible terms had any Muslim caused grief to us? Why were we so blindly driven by an idea, bereft of cause or value, about a sect of fellow human beings?”
2> Three years back, in India, I was searching for a good rent-flat where I could live with my three other friends. After some wanderings, we did find a house which satisfied all our needs and requirements. But before we formally agreed on it with our landlord, he asked me separately, “Is any of your friends Muslim?” In order to satiate him, I abruptly replied, with a hint of pride too, “No sir. Not even by any thought.” Ah! What if one of my friends had indeed been a Muslim? Had I deserted him or fought for him that day? I would never know, but I do know that I was a silent abettor of a bush raging fire of hatred and fear, that day.
3> Recently about two months back, I had been to a night club in North Cyprus (unfortunately a disputed territory). Already I had been bewildered a bit, to see relatively good life style there, as opposed to what had been advertised. But when I saw some Turkish Muslim girls, wearing low neckline and high hemline dresses, exposing a lot of flesh, I was astounded, and indeed wondered how advanced they actually were. Hey, did I write ‘advanced’ here? Yes, because this is exactly what I had thought then. “Why were women’s clothes a barometer of so-called intellect, advancement, and emancipation of any society? Wasn’t I too obsessed with this laughable worldly idea of Muslim women being straitjacketed, in both mind and body, with an overdose of clothes?”

I feel ashamed and guilty both, of harbouring and fomenting such views. But I hadn’t developed these, by any means. They had got seeped into me, and they had got internalized because I hadn’t resisted them. In turn, I have got maligned. These are the stories of my life, but such stories are abundant in everyone’s life. And when our strength is tested, these long-held opinions take a devious form and make us do the unthinkable without attributing any reason to it.

That’s why, whenever I come across these views, of banning burqa and niqab, I wonder whether any attempt has been made to understand the reason for the practice. When Barack Obama entreated the Western World from Cairo University to appreciate the beauty of Islam too, he was merely asking to take the veil off our eyes, instead of attempting to take it off supposedly repressed Muslim women. Wish we can really do that, and believe me, we will really see the world more rosily and openly then.

PS: - I am not a supporter of veils or any form of clothes which is dictated by society or religion. Clothing is more of a person’s wish and need. But I do believe that clothes can’t be a judge of someone’s character or personality. Hiding or exposing flesh can incite opinions but shouldn’t corrupt them. That’s why we have a place for both burqa and bikini in this world.

Happy New Year, 2010

The New Year is such an event. Each time I am driven to think again, loud and differently. My two previous blogs would bear testimony to that. 2010 arrives with an added dimension of the ascent of a new decade.

I can’t talk about the last decade, but can certainly certify that 2009 was the best year of my life. Not for the occasions, but for the promise and purpose. The occasions have yet to sprout. 2009 gave me the reason, rhyme and rhythm to think, and that has singularly made a sea-change in how I think. 2010 needs to be the year in which I act what I think. The outcome will take care of itself, as they say.

Apart from that, I seriously look forward to better by blogs. My writing has improved in both quality and frequency, but what is good if not driven towards excellence. Blogging can never be complete if it doesn’t translate and relate thoughts and ideas to the real world we live in. I would make an endeavour to zero in on that world.

What else??? Nothing sort of actually. The flesh and blood remains the same, and the air that it breathes. It’s just that I do that proverbial burying of spent and sinful soul again, and hope to rise in a world where life chimes as it does in Eldorado.

HAPPY NEW YEAR

Boys and Girls

I am sipping a cup of tea in my home’s balcony. Beyond the rain-induced moistness in the air lie the mountainous terrains. Buildings abound and then there lie, at the bottom, the criss-crossing roads and streets, and the ever plying and dodging traffic on them. Beautiful rendition of nature and that is what people and poets alike call the bliss! But I see bliss floating in the eyes and ears of those young kids which are sauntering on the front street right now. Oblivious to the world and unmindful of the life, they are all immersed in the post-school jaunt – some calling others names, some coaxing others to go to the kiosk, some actually snogging Hey, sorry these are not kids, these are adolescent teenagers, if the italicized emphasis of words hit the meaning. They are carefree and careless …..

And so was I, about 10 years back. Diving into the first waves of insouciant manhood from the headland of innocent childhood. It was all expansive as universe, all too imperfect unlike the orderliness of my earlier military school. Yes, a new school happened right at the time when I was feeling a new ‘me’ inside my veins. I could run 10 miles a day, I could solve the Kashmir issue, I could be the Casanova ala Shahrukh, I could actually do everything …. That is how I thought. It was the sudden power of flush of adulthood. I could actually see love happening vis-à-vis the girls. I could savour the beauty of their lips and their body. I could read what love – the everywhere word- had to say. No wonders, I fell in love with every girl I met.

I also questioned why world is so snobbish and selfish. Why religions fight and why do nations war? Why people give bribes to get work done? Why can’t we all be pure …. Questions, questions, questions …. all emanating from the new beauty and reason that I could see radiating everywhere. Why can’t boys and girls mix without inhibition, even if the rightness of it is shown in our movies every time? Why is everything about sex so bad even if the impulses are so pleasing? Why are things forbidden, for God’s sake???

The answers had to be earned though. And it took me a decade to know why things are as they are. The energy is sobered and the mind acclimatized now. But also there is a submitted self to the whims of the world.

I look at those boys and girls again. I look at their effervescent smile and their nonchalant gait. Everyone feeling the warmth of the company, and everyone beaming the same incredulous queries and beliefs about the world. How blissful is that? I suddenly feel envious as I slurp the last drops of my tea.

The Three Sci-Wishes of My Life

It sometimes bewilders me how all the Science and Humanities that I studied in my school and college has started appearing in true valuable forms now. It is only now that I am viewing them as not study subjects but as purveyors of intellect much needed to understand, study and better the life around us.

Every subject is fascinating and has direct implications on our life. But I ever wondered, what would those complex Chemistry Formulae mean in my real life, or how the Physics Motion Laws manifest themselves in front of me, or how the Pancreatic Enzymes ever intrigue me to visualize their churning of my ingested food. These aren’t into-the-face stuff, and really not something which evolve with us as we draw away from books. Something present but also veneered ….Unless we start looking through the stratum and stencil the concepts against the world around us. Every theory then looks substantiated, and every formula proved and used. Just the sheer cognition stretches the imagination and insight alike to newer horizons. How vast is the Universe, How can we define Time, How is our Human Body so precisely defined, Why is F=ma all the time, Where was E=mc2 before one century, How is the quantum level so energy rich, Is there God who designed all this, If not Him then who else? I mean, the questions then ultimately blend into an integrated form of Science, Philosophy, Arts, Theology etc, all culminating in this pursuit of understanding of life.

We are at a strange moment of time. At the start of 20th century, the discovery of electrons, protons, atomic structure, relativity etc was the hallmark; then nuclear fission-fusion, recognition of DNA double helix, design of transistors etc marked our scientific achievements in the mid-century; and in the last part of the century, undoubtedly, Computers, and in particular, WWW (World Wide Web) have been our greatest breakthrough. So, where can we go now in this century? I believe, again our efforts will be dictated by the need to comprehend and ameliorate our lives. As per me, none could be more fulfilling than these three discoveries/inventions/explorations:-

1> Life outside Earth
Wow! It sounds so cool. More and more movies are making this concept a reality. But believe me, now it is not a fancy, but an absolute necessity to find Life outside Earth. And it is a necessity, to learn from other Lives their system and culture. Do they actually follow religion, do they build homes or just live in a big society, and do they fight wars? A whole lot of concepts that we assume are a must, can be put to test then. Too quixotic an idea, but I, for one smidgen of a moment, can’t believe that there is no Life outside Earth, and that it can’t teach us something to better our lives.

2> Cure for AIDS
I have chosen just AIDS to highlight the need for medication for the most lethal kinds of diseases. We have come miles ahead in dealing with the pernicious diseases, viz Small Pox, TB, Polio etc, but as weeds, the new hitherto unknown diseases keep festering. Of all, AIDS is the most enigmatic. There has been a lot of research going on towards the discovery of a cure for the last two decades. It is high time we arrived at an efficacious solution sooner than later.

3> Fusion of HeavyWater to generate Energy
Nothing could be more relevant now, considering the Save Climate Brouhaha all around us, than the need for Renewable Energies. Wind, Solar, Hydro et al are the storehouse of energy, ready to be harnessed. Just unimaginable why we haven’t gone after them as zealously as we have after the manufacture of bombs. But soon we will have to. And the richest source, for me, could be the HeavyWater (found aplenty in Oceans) to generate energy through Fusion. Right now the process is too expensive and dangerous, but once mastered, it will be the panacea of all the climatic ills.

My sci-wishes are only three, but I believe, if fulfilled, they will have sea-change on the whole humanity. The real science, so diligently learned by the kid inside me, will be realized for me then. “Necessity is the mother of Invention,” no other time the saying has had more pertinent meaning.

The Sixth Sense Technology

My friends had mentioned about it sometime back, but it had failed to garner much of my attention. Then I read the heading ‘The Sixth Sense Technology’ in one of the blogs three days back. Today I came across a video of it. I had to peek into it. My God! This is awesome. Not because it is technologically outlandish as every new invention is, but because it has the potential to alter our lives in many better ways. You need to have a look at it:-



Measure its usefulness for the disabled ones. Gauge its effects on the scientific explorations. Consider its impact on our daily lives. It could be revolutionary. This is what I call scientific innovation at its best. Only wish it doesn’t fall into bad hands.

Two words for the genius, Pranav Mistry, too. I know my adorations are more pronounced because he is an Indian. But they are also so because he is a typical example of a capable mind blossoming into its full potential. Being an IITian, he is no doubt a brilliant mind, but he is also a potential-turned-realized mind. How often we can claim this of people around us, or more importantly, about our inner selves? His should make us realise what a life of destiny means.

Home bound

There is something about India which belies and defies everything. In fact, everything said about India now-a-days harps on this aspect unfailingly. A land of brutal-lovingness; a haven of evil necessities; a reflector of life, death and sundries; a place of assault and assimilation; a contrast within contrasts. No oxymoron or figure of speech can describe it.

But as everyone says, you have to feel it to experience it. My recent India trip was nothing short of repeated amazement about it. The Delhi airport elicited a shaming comparison with the other posh airports of the world. But the very next hour, the buzzing, improving and promising life out there gave the proverbial optimism I haven’t experienced anywhere else. The clogged streets, the jammed roads, the interminable queues in offices, banks, hospitals, the Naxalites violence, the drought and flood, the poor people begging on the roads etc– all are too mean and maddening to frustrate and deflate you to the core. But simultaneously there is also a stable working Government and the Prime Minister, rapidly-improving economy, Nobel Prize winner, youth-exhorting Rahul Gandhi, IT companies, world-encompassing Bollywood, improving Cricket and Sports, mangled but happening Commonwealth Games. Add to the list - Diwali, the family, aam ka achaar, dhaba ki chai and paranthe, the ultimate beautiful and cultured girls, the sobering temples. You have everything that life can give, torture or inspire in you. India is everyone’s life story.

Moving from a cozy life-style to the rigorous one is never easy, but as years grow by, one realizes, demanding life only, is the real and pleasing thing in the end. India definitely needs me, but I think, for now, I need India more than that.