Home bound

There is something about India which belies and defies everything. In fact, everything said about India now-a-days harps on this aspect unfailingly. A land of brutal-lovingness; a haven of evil necessities; a reflector of life, death and sundries; a place of assault and assimilation; a contrast within contrasts. No oxymoron or figure of speech can describe it.

But as everyone says, you have to feel it to experience it. My recent India trip was nothing short of repeated amazement about it. The Delhi airport elicited a shaming comparison with the other posh airports of the world. But the very next hour, the buzzing, improving and promising life out there gave the proverbial optimism I haven’t experienced anywhere else. The clogged streets, the jammed roads, the interminable queues in offices, banks, hospitals, the Naxalites violence, the drought and flood, the poor people begging on the roads etc– all are too mean and maddening to frustrate and deflate you to the core. But simultaneously there is also a stable working Government and the Prime Minister, rapidly-improving economy, Nobel Prize winner, youth-exhorting Rahul Gandhi, IT companies, world-encompassing Bollywood, improving Cricket and Sports, mangled but happening Commonwealth Games. Add to the list - Diwali, the family, aam ka achaar, dhaba ki chai and paranthe, the ultimate beautiful and cultured girls, the sobering temples. You have everything that life can give, torture or inspire in you. India is everyone’s life story.

Moving from a cozy life-style to the rigorous one is never easy, but as years grow by, one realizes, demanding life only, is the real and pleasing thing in the end. India definitely needs me, but I think, for now, I need India more than that.

The great world of racism

Black and White! So integrated, yet so far away. I will tell you a story I picked from some movie, I believe. There was a bevy of housewives discussing their daily lives in one of the ladies’ home on a hot summer leisurely afternoon. A laundry man appeared outside, and before anybody could utter anything, he said, “Only Whites please.” The black lady proceeded to bring the White Clothes only, leaving the laundry man a bit disapproved. Another black lady present there said, “He meant only White People.”

Though the meaning was apparent, I can grasp the meaning of its context only now. I am sorry; I think I can understand it now, but I know it is beyond my cognition, yet. It is beyond anyone’s cognition, I should say. In the above story, no one was racist, but everyone was feeling it somewhere. The ladies were so closely knit but still there was a divide, created unobtrusively between them.

I feel that divide every time and everywhere around me. In fact, I saw that divide inside me. I was born an Indian, and did my preliminary studies, higher studies, graduation, post-graduation better than most of my countrymen could afford. I led an absolutely fine life, but somewhere all these years was also buried deep inside that complexity of colour and have-nots. I am brown, and as with most of Indians, have a fascination towards white, more so with a feeling of deference. All my life, I couldn’t abide by this whole logic why I am less than others. Leave my feelings, why people all around me feel white is better than brown, and brown is better than black. I could see people staring wide-eyed at some American White couple, and also sniggering at some African Black one. Someone having a white girlfriend would be considered princely, while someone with a black one would be the butt of all taunts.

I moved outside India three years ago. The cloistered feelings were challenged more often than not now. A brown guy walking the streets amidst the crowd of white people; eyes fixed on you, some with disaffectedness, some with insularity and some out of mere curiousness. You go to McDonald’s, and there is some suppressed chirping around you. You go to watch the movie in a cinema hall, and you leave behind a group of young guys and girls smirking in an incomprehensible language. Yet, I was never abused, taunted or racially profiled openly at any of the places. Not even once. The shopkeepers were nice, the landlords helpful, the locals guiding, everyone, in fact, as normal as one could be. Since then I have traveled to a lot of places: America, Africa, Europe, Asia, and met a lot of people. I have shared seats on airplanes, dined in restaurants, danced in discos, played in grounds etc with people of different nationalities, colours and religions. Nowhere I was assaulted or affronted directly. Where was the fucking racism?

Yet I felt that divide, a veneer separating me from others around and vice-versa. Then one morning I could detect where that divide was. I was in a hurry to go to my office, and boarded the empty lift from my top floor. Down two levels, the lift stopped, and outside appeared, a white man. At first, he flinched and stopped, gave a worried look, finally sported a courteous smile, and walked inside. I stepped aside, careful to leave some space between us. Down two further levels, the lift stopped again, and I was ready for another encounter. But this time, appeared another man, a brown Bangladeshi. He hesitated to see two of us. We made a face this time around, and gave a perfunctory smile at the end. He then walked inside, careful to leave some space from the rest two of us. The lift then descended nonchalantly to the ground floor, but during those moments, the whole world of human love & its formality, and the great divide was exhibited in front of me. I was shell-shocked, because for the first time, I wondered how tightly I have been conscripted, strait-jacketed and faulted by the long-held-developed notions and beliefs. Not only I, but all three of us on that day on that lift were mere servants to the thoughts of the world.

I haven’t been able to fully extricate myself from these notions. It will take some time to dispose of the thoughts of a lifetime and the world around you. But I feel my life is much better now. I can understand the queries in the eyes and minds of the fixated onlookers on me, and can also appreciate the undertones of brown, black and less recognized people. I still prefer white women, but can also date a black woman, if time comes. It feels mighty different now, I must say. And have also realized, the insecure and the superior feelings, both at the same time, not only remain limited to colour. They are, in fact, present in every aspect of our lives: region, religion, nation, states, wealth etc. Even the wealthy Americans, the suave Europeans, the strong Africans, the intellectual Chinese and Indians, in fact, all the fucking great Earthians, can’t help feel these double feelings, based on some radically-generated and pre-conceived notions, at some aspect and point of their life and time. Such is the great vagary of life, and hence it remains beyond my cognition.

Remembering Mahatma

I know I should have written it a day earlier. Better late than never. Anyway the point is not about singing a panegyric, on the eventful day of 02nd Oct, about Mahatma Gandhi. But about the need of answering this question,"Nehru: Bapu, the whole country is moving. Gandhi: Yes, but in which direction?"

Each year, on Gandhi Jayanti, I read something like this, “Is the Mahatma relevant today?” A stark reminder of the times we live in. And a cognition that such a pass has come that we are asking this question. But ask me, and I will answer, “A firm yes.” Not so because of the deeds he performed, but because of the ideals and the firm belief he had in those.

Tell me, which nation has fought its war of independence totally on non-violent terms? It makes my head high just thinking of it. Don’t wonder whether we would have got our freedom earlier or easier if we had adopted a different policy. Just consider there were hawks and belligerents at that time too, but the majority listened to him. And they listened because he showed a more morally soothing and justified path. Contrast this with the path the modern day jihadis, terrorists, freedom-fighters are following. Why go there, contrast this with the way we live our current simple lives. Everywhere we reject the ideals and morals as not-relevant-now or impractical vis-à-vis the current realities of life. Aisa nahin ho sakta aaj kal, agar yeh sahi bhi hai to. Here is where he was different and not like us. He didn’t give in to the world, but believed in what has been right since time immemorial.

Two days back, I was reading a letter he had written to Hitler in 1940, asking him to re-judge what he was doing. Not a single sign or word of aggression, even if the situation warranted that. Just the words of idealism thrown in. So firm believer he was in the power of reasoning and truth.

He was and remains the look-up-to personality for many: Obama, Martin Luther King, Nelson Mandela, Aang San Su Ki, Lech Walesa etc. United Nations declared 02nd Oct as International Day of Non-Violence in June 2007. Many schools in Europe celebrate or remember his birthday or martyr day. He was chosen as the second-most influential personality of the century by Time magazine at the end of 20th century. Even the first one on that list, Albert Einstein, said, "Generations to come will scarce believe that such a one as this ever in flesh and blood walked upon this earth."

I hope we really don’t die wondering whether such a man ever existed. Let not the ‘belief in ideals’ die in the name of practicalities. This is the least we can do for him this Gandhi Jayanti.

It is Rio's chance

Tomorrow the world decides which city will host the 2016 Olympics. The candidate cities are Chicago, Rio de Janeiro, Rome and Tokyo. The latter two, having already hosted the Olympics, have a lesser chance than the former two.

Most independents, including me, are supporting Rio to get the nod. The reason is obvious: It would be really exotic and exciting for a Brazilian city to host the world’s greatest sporting show. Olympics are synonymous with global aspirations, and need to have a pan-world connection. What better to host the Games in a city which is more dreamlike for most of the people? Actually, if given a chance, it would be first South American city to host it. Chicago might have better credentials, and might actually provide a superior show. But that would be too perfect an act. The Games need a reflection of the actual world, and that world resides in cities of Beijing, Rio, Johannesburg, Mumbai, Bangkok etc. So, for a change, the judges, please cast aside your rooted thinking of grandiose criteria (infrastructure, security, connectivity, investment etc) as the only deciding factors, and give people’s heart and vibrancy a chance.

For a change, I too, for the first time, won’t endorse Obama’s plea. He too is going to be there to champion his city’s candidature. But I hope he fails, and then gleefully endorses, “It’s time for change.”

Euro Trip Revisited

Ah! The Euro Trip. Those certain 16 days will remain forever etched in my memory. It is very easy to declare any recent moment the best, just for the need and emphasis for it. But if life does start talking sweetly after it, it indeed is the moment.

No, it wasn’t the best I have felt, but it was certainly the time when I learnt the most. And that is what I like about travels and had hoped from this one too. I had planned to write a daily dairy of the tour, but feel it is impractical now, for the lack of time and also for the sheer volume of it. It deserves a good synopsis though. So, here are some travel guiding points picked from the sojourn:-

1> Prepare an itinerary which suits your taste. If you are driven by History and Religion, go to the numerous Churches and Palaces. But if they darn you off, no point in going through the ordeal. The world has plenty to offer for everyone.

2> But whatever you decide, do a thorough analysis of the places to be visited. They come in handy to feel the place and also the occasion. History and Geography of the place, not necessarily knowledge of their kings and chronology etc etc, do have their bearings on the experience.

3> Just like taking a small luggage, have a small group too. It offers less pain of going through the likes, dislikes, frills, tantrums, and also idiosyncrasies of the rest of the members. But more than that, it gives you the chance to explore out of the group and meet the world.

4> Stays in places which you feel are comfortable for and needed by you. It is not only for the budget, but I feel hostels provide the most wonderful staying area for the youth. But if you want something peaceful, do check out their websites for their score on this front.

5> Learn the local languages’ basic words and sentences. It will help, and you won’t have to repent the moments when you wanted to stay something but couldn’t. Some of the phrases, “Good Morning”, “Hello”, “Thank You”, “I need help”, “You look gorgeous” etc etc are an immeasurably strong necessity.

6> It is always a good idea to travel many places on foot. So check out its viability in the places you are visiting, and whether you can carry this out, as it can be very tiring.

7> Make the trip wholesome. I mean, the usual affinities aside, a fulfilling trip on all counts, helps the travel invigorate. Fun factor is a must even if the trip is just sight seeing or educational. It is just that things have to be in balance as per the taste.

8> Finally, travel is not about visiting the places; it is about experiencing the place, culture and people. Have eyes, ears, senses open for each and every moment, and you will relish the time spent for lifetime.

It is not that we did everything I have stated here. In fact, it was the guideline and will also serve as the lesson for our future tours. But on most of the counts, we did OK. So, another reason why I feel it went so smooth. I want to do another Euro Tour of the ilk, but know future time and place won’t allow me that. An added reason why we must enjoy each and every bit of the place we go through.

Europe Calling !!!

Well well then. Finally the moment has arrived. Long cherished, sought after and planned. I am indeed going on Euro Trip tomorrow ….

The excitement is not that much of seeing new places, but more of experiencing the moments. I still remember and relish most of my previous travels; hope it emulates and betters them all.

So, off from work, study, Internet etc etc for 2 weeks, and a big hello to Europe ….

Happy Independence Day

After many years, on the eve of this Independence Day, I feel that childhood-sense of pride and passion for the day. Back in those days, I used to buy a small paper flag and hoist it proudly on the roof of my house. That was my salute to the nation.

As world and life unfolded, 15th August became another day. Actually, it became a holiday. India is not going to run away from me, even if Independence Day is not celebrated.

But as all things turn full circle, this time around, that gleaming misty-eyed flag-waving passion seems to be pouring out involuntarily. Happy Independence Day, India. Long live the nation of destiny.