The Hawk and the Rabbit

The hawk spread its wings, and the rabbit cowed. Such a scene is a marvellous setting for a pictorial rendition. In reality, though, it evokes a sense of trepidation and turmoil. The rabbit scampers but the hawk swoops. The rabbit caught in its talons, the hawk soars in the sky. And soars higher and farther … till it reaches its den. The rabbit mortified but yet alive, shrivelled but yet puling , looking through its pleading, nay resigned eyes towards its purveyor of impending death.  Will the hawk mellow or delay? The right question is whether it will abandon its instincts.  A hardened and long look from the hawk on the rabbit. The hawk moves its head ever so slightly; the rabbit understands; it stoops its head as if in submission; the hawk accepts the offering; the long beak pierces the soft epidermis on the rabbit’s neck; the rabbit whimpers and then ululates, but in a matter of 10 seconds, it lolls forward desiccated of energy and so-called life. The hawk swallows, feasts and satiates; it looks around the surroundings and presently soars again into the sky against the cerulean and into the oblivion, with keen eyes looking down till everything fades from sight.  

Election Mania

“If you keep away from social media and not hark to their pestering bullhorns, life will be saner  and more believable.” I was restored to my normal self by a random tweet perused during my own heightened sense of activity in this pro or anti party stance euphoria so prevalent in the country nowadays, especially during General Elections 2019. I followed the diktat, and immediately started feeling better. Over time, I was also extricated of the thoughts which not only convince you of their being the only viable, elevated and correct ideas for the country, but also want you to bring into submission others present around to accepting them as the almighty truth; the whole process not being more than just a satiation of one’s ego. If a precept constantly buffets you, it ingrains your soul and barnacles your thoughts. Over time, it can also lead you to believe sun rising from the west and sun revolving around the earth, even if you have known the opposite throughout your life.  

     Supporting any party or ideology is one’s personal choice, and it is not measurable with any rhyme or reason. If a particular rationality is to dictate one’s preference, then there would be no need for universal personal suffrage. Each person selects his candidate based on elements defining his identity  – region, religion, caste, job, lifestyle, thoughts et al , and none can or should dare deprecate his choice. This was the basic idea why even the poor and illiterate persons’ votes  were given equal weightage to those of the affluent and intelligentsia. So, why this squabble of influencing others ideas on mass media – news sites, whatsapp groups, TV news etc.

      For me, any political party or government is not without its virtues or without any blemishes. Also my profession demands neutrality which I intend to follow to the hilt. There will be personal choice nonetheless, which will however be reflected in the ballot box only.  Amidst all this, I will try to respect others ideas and beliefs about any political party or government. If ever we need an apt maxim to follow in this time, then it is this attributed to Voltaire – “I may not agree with what you say, but I shall defend to death your right to say it”.

The Pursuit of Everything

A distinct difference in the current time from the yore is the surfeit of everything around us. Earlier devoid of supply of demand, now we are spoilt for choices; however the supply still remains unattended - the culprit not being the victuals which are available in plenty but the unavailability of time which renders taking even a morsel a hurried and exasperating experience. So, what a cataclysm for those who want to revel and partake in everything conceivable on this earth. Ever pushed from one thing to another, jostled from one place to another, their life becomes a veritable carousel of sorts. This scramble doesn’t sate them either, rather it demeans their achievements to mere footnotes and in turn, fosters in them the urge to chase more things. The irony is not lost though - this pursuit of everything never ends, and the chasers instead remain seated on the unstopping whirligig of wishes.

What to abandon then – the pursuit or the goals? The answer should be both, however sacrilegious it may sound. In modern times, enough goals have been achieved, it is time now to savour them rather than go after next ones. And savour them with grace and gratitude. And in the end, always remember -an unhurried sense of time is in itself a great form of wealth.

India Visited

During my training in NADT, I have to visit many places, some for work and some just for sight-seeing. India thus is coming to me in many unseen ways. And the diversity and the associated pride of its uniqueness is shown when I travel across the length and breadth of the country. While Mumbai was chaotic in its centre and beautiful in the Necklace Marine Drive, Kolkata has been an assault on senses and invigorating on perception both by its madness and historical beauty.

Now at present I am in Bangalore, the so-called Garden City, IT City or Silk City of India. While the sprawl of urban development is very noticeable, the underlying breakage of it by the population growth is also on the cards. So, while it excites, it also makes you pity about the coming days. Anyway isn’t it the story of the whole India? However, the visit to Mysore was a long-time dream fulfilled. But how dampener it turned out to be. Mysore Palace was good, if not stupendous, but the biggest letdown was Tipu Sultan’s museum, palace and kingdom of Seringapatam. The place is nothing but a dilapidated state of affairs with nothing reminiscent of yore existing. That’s why people say, “Don’t expect much when visiting places, because every person is mortal and every place nothing more than mortar”.

I have to go to the unchartered terrains of North-east next week. And I can’t help being excited about it. Guwahati, Shillong and Arunachal Pradesh are on the itinerary. Above all though, I am roused to feel the isolated but beautiful part of the country which has so long remained in maps only for us. Different food, different language and culture, different environs …. India never fails to amaze me!!!

Life at NADT

Post UPSC result and marriage, I spent my 6 months at home. This was the longest I had spent at home since going to boarding school in my childhood. So, in more ways than one, it was a memorable stay. However, it was also devoid of the usual hustle-bustle which my life had got accustomed to in previous years. In short, the period was an extended relaxation phase, prior to the onslaught of the rigours of government job I was about to undertake.

I arrived at National Academy of Direct Taxes (NADT), Nagpur on 22^nd Dec, 2012, for my training for Indian Revenue Service (IT). As I had heard, the academy was very attractive from the first look itself, nice verdant environs, good hostels nestled in between, with various sports complexes dotting the space. It was reminiscent of Sainik School Tilaiya, only with better facilities. And I was absorbed by the settings like a bee to a flower. The pain of staying away from the family for such a long time (16 months) is thus lessened to an extent by the opportunity the academy provides in sports, academics and other activities. And I know there are a few things which I might be doing for the last time in life here.

So, life at NADT is actually reliving the life of learning, where its wheels keep on moving non-stop, but at the end of day, I do realize I have traversed some distance of substance, some distance of self-discovery.

Good Bye, Amdocs !

I have not written anything, implicit or explicit, about my company, Amdocs, till now, in any of my blogs. The reasons range from a formal don’t, read company policy, of not writing any personal view in an open world , to a general lack of interest on any company topic in my personal space/blog. However, as I bid adieu to the company today after working here for 5 years, I feel an inner compulsion and desire both to put forth my views on it.

Amdocs has meant so much to me, that a part of me will always be addressed by it. I remember the day we got selected for it in our Campus Recruitment at the College; it was merriment for all. Post-joining in Pune, I got a chance to move to Cyprus, which I still reckon is the best phase of my life. Not only for the changed and excellent environs it provided, but for the instillation of the ‘excellence’ ethos. I had lost this ethos somewhere in the mad rush during my school and college times. My foreign travels (business or personal), my work experience, my cultural interactions, my learnings etc at Amdocs shaped my views greatly. I re-got the urge and desire to excel, in whatever field, company, project etc I work on.

Often we lament about the company, supposedly on its poor pay, bad working conditions, reduced travels, fewer growth opportunities …. But the reality is these cribs and carps will remain even if we work in heaven. If we focus just on the positives, Amdocs is one of the best companies, and it still remains so.

Having said that, no company or sector is without the need for improvement. My personal experience accumulated over the years has felt for these many times. The biggest problem with the company and IT sector in general, is the sense of aloofness or alienation that gets generated amongst the employees.  Easier money, a relatively better life style, an AC laced cubicle… all bring indifference and lethargy on the employee’s part; while the work pressure and requirements, its secluded domain etc further ensures that an employee is detached from anything outside its campus. So, a person might be very good in company’s work, Amdocs methodologies, APRM terms etc, but when he sees himself vis-à-vis the rest of the world, he is practically zilch in comparison. And the worst part is that this anomaly grows over the years, and when one realizes it after many years, he feels he could have known and done much more for himself, family, friends, society than just get tangled in phone calls, Internet, emails etc

A lot of this is attributed to our wrong philosophies. The term ‘Customer is the King’ is so grossly misused and misinterpreted that I practically hate it now. There can be no other king in this world than yourself, and people you work with. To satisfy Customers’ unjustified requirements and our own endless desire for package/post promotion, seniors’ appreciation, bonus, incentive etc that we openly flout the basic norms of behavior. For me, the most excruciating part has been to tell my juniors or team members to do a work in 1 day when I myself knew it will take 2 or 3 days. It is not only wrong, but also immoral. Similarly, the sense of guilt has overtaken me many times, when I have browsed Facebook when there is important pending work. Someone watching Youtube in critical office hours is as bad as a manager scheduling meetings deliberately after 6 pm. Someone shooting emails at 1 am in the night, when he could have done that in office hours is an inefficient person, to speak it bluntly, unless it is emergency. Office hours are sufficient, if properly managed from both upper and lower ends, for the work. The rest should be used for personal development – guitar lessons, gym, exams preparation, movies, books, family and friends bonding, computer programming, general awareness etc whatever is relevant to the person. If indeed one is seriously interested in the project or application, he should study advanced things of those after office hours, and not do routine tasks.

Thus, for me, the criteria for the success of a project aren’t just the timelines it achieved, or the reduced number of defects it had, but actually they are also the general growth, empowerment and happiness it brought to its stakeholders, including the employees who delivered it. Not that I have followed my words every time, but there has been a sincere attempt from my side to meet them. I have not been an overtly ambitious and over achieving employee of Amdocs. However, what I know is that I have done my work sincerely keeping not only the professional expectations in mind but also the basic human and social norms in front. This can be judged, better though, by my colleagues, team members and managers.

As I move into the Civil Services of Indian Government, I will have to confront different and probably bigger challenges and opportunities. There will be definitely some positives but also hitherto unknown negativities, viz. nepotism, corruption, inefficiency etc. I only hope that I appreciate the grand scope of its work, and also fight, to my level and capability, against the odd elements. And for that, I know, my life lived in Amdocs will always help me. Thank you and sincere gratitude to you, Amdocs!

A thing called Marriage

There isn’t any other topic than marriage on which more discourses, jokes or lessons have been written. And now I know the reason why.

There have been moments when I have ruminated about my marriage with both apprehension and expectation. Sometimes blogs like these - Time to Settle, Watching Vivah too have followed. Pre-marriage phase is a conjecture time. You build your views on others preached notions or time-old norms or your own uncertain doubts. So, it is practically a land of unknowns.

Post-marriage phase thus comes as a welcomed and prepared part; however, you are still swept off your feet sometimes. Marriage ceremonies are the first ones. I enjoyed them to the hilt, trying to follow each of them for its importance and meaning. I had thought that I would become a bit occasion conscious, but thankfully I was normal all the time. However, the moment the pandit said, after sindur daan and phera that a few moments ago, you both have entered into marriage life, I was taken aback for a second, for the realization of the change in my life.

The usual honeymoon and travelling followed, which needless to say was good, nay brilliant. Your in-laws become your additional family, and you cater to them, probably with more respect and attention. Your immediate workspace and territory gets redefined. I had never thought I would be buying ladies salwaar suit in a shop, looking completely buffoon with my choices. But as people say, with time, these expertise too will come.

Finally and most importantly, your better half. This is where it all stops and revolves; all your habits, thoughts, ideas, beliefs, love, career, ambitions etc are unfulfilled without a suitable spouse. In fact, life is distorted if there is no complementary soul for you. Again thankfully, I got the perfect one which I desired.

It has been just 1 month, but the life around marriage time has been a unique experience. Some of the moments will remain indelible in my mind forever. For the present though, the proverbial ‘marital bliss’ is definitely on….

A Tribute to Sainik School Tilaiya

When I think of my academic career, no stage matches the quality and aura of that of Sainik School Tilaiya. I still remember the day when I boarded the train from Gaya to Koderma, accompanied by my father and mother. I was much younger then, bespectacled, skinny and not so tall. The first day, we were allocated houses, a trunk, a few clothes etc – all to start a new phase of life. I remember my mother’s eyes carrying a few drops of tears when my parents were about to bid adeau. I also wept inconsolably that night, seemingly forlorn in the school. Unsurprisingly, that night, almost every one was sobbing.

We didn’t know it then that we were about to enter a phase of life which would have an imprint on the rest of our lives. The discipline of daily schedule, the orderliness in our behaviour, the quality of teaching, the fervour of comradeship learnt during those days, are a few things that still define me, and probably will do so ever. The pride of sporting the uniform, the intial few days of learning many new games, the fear of seniors which nothing in life can generate again, the bossism over the juniors etc are unique to the life of SST. My five years in the school were the most formative of my years, I can firmly say that, even though I studied later at many prestigious institutes too.

Mostly though, it was the teaching that I recevied there has moulded my career. There I learned the art of studying. My improved English, if that can be called, is solely dedicated to the interest and zeal invoked by Mr MP Menon’s classes. My aptitude in Arts subjects (History, Geography etc) was developed in no small measure by Mr Gyaneshwar Jha, Mr MP Srivastava, Mr Anjani Kumar etc. Maths was a systematic science under Mr DN Pandey. Science subjects were revelation for me under Mr D Maiti, Mr Debashish Das, Mr Panda etc. May be I have exagerrated, but the reality is if I am good in studies now also, it is attributed to SST.

Quiz, Debate, Declamation, Cultural Competitions and various Sports Events of Football, Basketball, Cricket, Volley Ball etc were a few things I have not been fortunate enough to experience again. How good rare days were those then?

I only wish the current students realise the priceless chance that they are receiving here, and utilise it to the fullest extent. It will shape their career, in whatever field their destiny is meant to be. The theme of ‘Forward Ever’ will never fail them, that is one thing I can vouch for.

What it all means

It has been a month, 26 days to be exact, after my results of UPSC Civil Services came. To start off, let me put a disclaimer that this blog is neither a glorified write-up of my so-called achievement nor a showcase of my so-called stardom nor a philosophical discourse on my inner feelings. If ,at all, it appears like that at any juncture, sincere apologies are tendered.

My whole objective of writing this blog is to restropectively observe the underneath meaning of it. The exam, its attached importance, its hyped limelight etc all become backstage players then. On 04^th May, when I was anxiously browsing through the Final Results pdf, remembering God, family etc along the way, the only expectation was to see my name in the list. When my name’s hit happened at rank 339, I felt that something has been achieved. I was the first member in my family, considering even the distant ones, to clear the Civil Services exam. Add it to the grandiose status attached to the exam, more so in Bihar. Soon, the news spread to my parents, fiancee’, brothers, colleagues, family etc to my childhood-colony, school, birth-place, village etc. And it was all crazy, at least, for the first 2 days. So, what I craved for the last 2 years actually became real, and was manifested in many ways in the first 2 ways itself.

A month down the line though, when I actually have time to analyse it, what can I say all about this. Actually many people asked me (in both informal chats and formal interviews) how I prepared for the exams, how I managed to do it while continuing in job, what is my message to the youth & rural people, and what is my favourite food, colour etc !  But actually what I can convey, which has some persistent meaning and value, is the message of how I lived my life in the last few years.

For me, success is such a broad-term, yet individualistic,  term that no one can clearly define it. Otherwise success, and its progeny happiness, wouldn’t have been a Holy-Grail so coveted by all. Thus, I measure my success with my relevance. And the exams are one of the preliminary steps in my ladder of success, which I have constructed based on my aptitude, ability and interest. Thus, Civil Services can’t and shouldn’t be considered the pinnacle of all, and compared with any private job, any social work, any research etc. Each job is good, and each person, if living his life in his job, is equally successful.  For me, a mason dutifully raising a wall of a building on a schorching afternoon is as successful as a housewife selflessly raising her kids. A Tendulkar, an Aamir Khan, an Obama aren’t the only successful persons. A person who lives his life happily 24X7 is.  On the contrary though, the moment we start thinking whether we are happy, we loose the whole plot and become unhappy. Thus, our eternal quest should be to make a balance between what we desire and what we actually have. This has been the biggest lesson for me over the last few years.

And it has actually made a sea-change. I have started enjoying my Office Work, which I considered such a bore not many months back. The UPSC exams were not considered a do-or-die situation. The exam results are not the final destination now. Things are easier to say though, and I have also realised that I haven’t been able to implement more than 5% of it . However, the truth is that even by doing just 5%, I have got so much. I get goosebumps when I realise what I can achieve by doing 50%.

So, to come back to the original question of ‘what it all means’, I can only say- a reconfirmation of my belief, and a boost to my quest. Nothing more, nothing less. And this is the only message I can give: ‘live your life in your context; life is to be lived, not to do anything’. And I know, my words will win their authencity, when and if I can say these even if times of failure!

My IAS Interview

My Interview happened on Wednesday, 25^th April in the morning 09:00 – 12:00 am slot. I arrived exactly at 09:00 am at the UPSC gate, but surprisingly found myself to be the last in the queue of the candidates going inside the premises. For a change, people were early. But this is UPSC IAS Exam interview, undoubtedly the toughest exam in India, and probably in the world. I was reminded immediately about the monstrosity of it, which I had tried to avoid till then.

After the usual security check, I was ushered inside a big hall which was the waiting room for the candidates. All the candidates were seated in groups of six around a table, marked for each group. After the initial certificates’ verification, I had a first look of the call order. I was slotted in the 4^th place, which I roughly calculated to be after 1.5 hours (approx. 30 mins for each candidate) from the start. Our Board’s Chairman was Mr Venkatraman Reddy.

Flipping through the various newspapers, I tried to calm myself, as some sort of occasion-consciousness had started creeping in. However, as the time approached, I was surprisingly relaxed. So, when the peon ushered me to sit outside Mr Reddy’s room to await my turn, I was like an uber-cool dude, all ready to blast in and make my presence felt.

So, when my turn came, I knocked and asked, “May I come in, sir?”

Entering the room, I greeted them, and after I was asked to sit, I took the chair confidently.

They were 5 in number: the Chairman in the centre, flanked by two persons on either side. The Chairman took my file in hand, and started browsing through it. That was the start of my make-or-break session (which I came to know it indeed was).

Chairman: I see that you have graduated from Atal Bihari Vajpayee-IIITM, Gwalior.

Me: Yes sir ( I came to know instantly that he knows about my institute, as no one will pronounce its full name just like that)

Chairman: So, you know who was the first Director of your institute?

Me: Yes sir. Prof. D P Agrawal.

Chairman: Where is he at present?

Me: He is currently the Chairman of UPSC (There was a flicker of smile across all the members)

Chairman: Who is the current director of your institute?

Me: (I was stumped. How could have I missed checking that beforehand?) Sorry sir, I don’t know.

Chairman: You don’t follow your Alma-Mater? (He got crossed at my answer. Not an auspicious start)

Me:  I used to follow for 2-3 years after I passed out. But since then, I have lost touch a bit. ( I petered out some answer. Thankfully, he didn’t pursue it further, and gestured to the member sitting to his right)


(Later on I came to know that Mr Reddy was himself a faculty from IIT Delhi, and so knew his colleague Prof DP Agrawal very well. Ah! People somehow pick their destined apples)

M1: You have done your post-graduation in Information Technology. So, can you tell something about mouse? OK, tell me the full form of mouse.

Me:  (I was a bit amused about the triviality of question. Mouse? But the reality was I didn’t know the answer). Sorry sir, I don’t know the answer.

M1: OK, tell me how does an OMR work?

Me:  OMR?

M1: Yes, the one on which you mark your answers during an examination.

Me:  (I blurted) OMR ac…tua..lly…

Chairman: (He interrupted) OK, tell the full form of OMR

Me:  (I felt like, Not Again..full form. However, the reality was that I should have known this answer, and I was not sure. So, I asked the member) Sir, may I take a guess?

M5: You will have to do it on your risk. (And every member started laughing)

Me:  Sir, I don’t want to say anything which I am not sure about. OMR is ‘Objective Marking Response’ (Chairman said immediately, No…I realized, what a pathetic answer. Later on, I came to know, it was Optical Mark Reader)

M1: How does face-recognition software work?

Me: (Determined to answer, anything, this time, I said) It works on biometrics, where there is software to detect the specific body parts.

M1: Can you tell the specific technology?

Me: Sir, Digital Image Processing

M1: Just that, or anything else too?

Me: Sir, I know this much only.

M1: OK, and gestured to the second member to take over

M2: So Prabhakar, you must have heard about several scams. Can you tell which is the biggest scam till date, and what is the total money in question for all scams?

Me: (I thought for a while. As the Coal Scam was reported to be the baap of all scams by CAG recently, at least in media, I said) Sir, the recent Coal Scam reported by CAG, though it is not official yet.

M2: What is the total sum of all the scams?

Me: Sir, should be around 10 lakh crores

M2: You know about Telecom Scam? What is the figure in that?

Me: (This I was sure about. Finally something concrete. I smiled) Yes sir, 1.76 lakh crore rupees.

M2: OK. So, do you think it was really a scam? They took less money from the operators, and passed on to the common people, which ultimately benefitted them. So, isn’t it like doing a service?

Me: Sir, this is not service. Common people got benefitted, but the government lost precious money from its coffers, which could have been utilised for some other purpose.

M2: But still wasn’t it a service? OK, can corruption ever be eliminated?

Me: Yes sir, if each one of us do our job correctly and honestly ( And I segued into the sermon seamlessly)

M2: But again, how can it be eliminated, if it is associated with everyone. Do you believe it is synonymous with Bhrastachaar?

Me: Yes sir

M2: How come? Bhrastachaar is ‘Bhrast + Acchar’, which is wrong behaviour. And, each indiviual has wrong behaviour, so how can corruption be eliminated?

Me: ( At this point, I was driven mad, as this discussion was going nowhere. I thought probably he is a psychologist. Gathering myself, I answered) Yes sir, to minute level, corruption tendencies will remain inside each individual, however we need to make individual efforts to correct the situation. We can’t just let it go unchecked.

M2: ( I don’t know why, he again came back to telecom scam, and asked me to justify why it is a scam)

Me: (Coolly though, I answered the same stuff, though differently J ) Sir, it can’t be equated with service, as it was corruption, based on the false premise of First Come First Service, favouring a few specific players.

Satisfied with this answer, he ended the barrage of questions suddenly, which was a bit of relief and surprise. The turn moved on to the third member.

M3: You are working in a software company. What is this ‘Subject Matter Expert’? Are you really experts?

Me: Sir, this is the designation provided by the company to all its employees, as they want to believe that they are experts in their domain, and can do their jobs efficiently.

M3: (He smiled) So, is it a credit to the company or the employee?

Me: ( Now, I had got integrated quite well with the session, so I replied with a smile) Probably to both.

M3: But basically you are a computer programmer?

Me: Yes sir

M3: You also mentioned that learning Greek is your hobby. Is it because you had stayed in Cyprus?

Me: Yes sir, I stayed in Cyprus for 3 years and a half, and since Greek is the national language there, I picked up the language.

M3: So, why did you leave Cyprus and come to India?

Me: Sir, I left my company and came to India to prepare for the Civil Services

M3: But, you are working in the same company. So, I don’t understand how is it like leaving the company?

Me: Sir, when I had left, I had put a rider that I can join the company back.

M3: (He still wasn’t convinced, as my resume showed the same company Amdocs, though at different places of Pune, Limassol and Gurgaon. So, I explained) Sir, I had to resign from the company, and when I had to join back, I enquired again in my parent company whether they are willing to take me back.

At this point, he relented. Probably, he noted the gap year in my resume. On hindsight, I could have mentioned about my drop year earlier only.Finally, he moved on to other parts.

M3: You are from Gaya? What is the significance of Gaya?

Me: Sir, it is the holy town for both the Buddhists and the Hindus.

M3: Do you know the controversy between them. There is a famous temple there, related to both of them.

Me: ( I was a bit confused. Unwittingly, I said) Vishnupad Temple

M3: He nodded (It was surprising, as the answer should have been Mahabodhi Temple, which I realised later on when the conversation became clearer)

Me: So, what is the fight between them?

M3:  ( Now, I realised what he was talking about) Yes sir, both the communities lay claim on Buddha legacy, as the Hindus consider Lord Buddha as the incarnation of Lord Vishnu. So, there have been many fights and controversies over the temples.

M3: OK, tell me how is Gaya now? Has it improved?

Me: ( A bit unusual question) Yes sir, it has improved. There are better infrastructure facilities, more employment, more development etc

M3: And also dirtier? Isn’t it what it is famous for too?

Me: ( I replied back with smile) Sir, I won’t definitely call that something to be famous for.

M3: ( He smiled) There was a recent statement from Press Council of India Chairman about Bihar. Can you tell what was that?

M3: Yes sir, PCI Chairman Mr Markendya Katju recently lamented that press don’t have freedom in Bihar to write anything bad about the Nitish Kumar government.

M3: So, do you think it is true?

Me: ( After some pause) No sir, I don’t buy this statement fully, as the govt has done some really good work. Most importantly, he has worked on the fundamentals of the economy and society which has brought out more development.

At that point, I stopped a bit. Seeing there was no reaction from the members, probably they wanted more elaboration. I continued.

For example, on social front, he has worked on women empowerment. Schemes like Balika Cycle Yojana, Balika Poshak Yojana etc have been landmark programmes, as they have not only brought literacy but have also boosted the girls’ confidence immensely. On economic front, he has worked on building the roads. Similarly, on political front, he has cracked down on law and order, corruption problems. So, he has tried to prepare the groundwork for further development.

This was the best answer I gave in the whole interview, and could be gauged by the attentive moods of the members at that time. Admittedly a part of it was prepared beforehand J

Then, the interviewing session moved on to the 4^th member.

M4: You have listed Blogging as one of your hobbies? How many blog hits you have?

Me: Sir, not many. As I mostly write for myself, I haven’t advertised it to others.

M4: (He didn’t feel quite at ease with my answer,and I knew instantly why). Sir, it is around 100 hits per month ( I should have answered that straight)

M4: What topics you write on?

Me: I write on a plethora of topics.

M4: He was involved and repeated, plethora of topics. What are those?

Me: Sir, I write on my Personal Life, Cricket, Cinema, Literature, Business and International Relations. Actually, I maintain a seven-part blog, covering all the topics.

M4: How frequently you write?

Me: At least weekly

M4: What was the last topic you wrote on?

Me: It was on Nagorno-Karabakh region’s relations with Kosovo. I had read an article in The Economist, that Kagorno Karabakh region wants Kosovo to recognise its independence in return for their recognition. So, I vented my feelings on how international diplomacy work.

M4: Tell me more about Nagorno-Karabakh.

Me: Sir, it is a seceded region of Ajerbaijan.

M4: (He interrupted) So, is it the only problem with it?

Me: It is actually physically separated from Ajerbaijan by Armenia. So, there is no direct contact between them.

M4: Isn’t there another problem of religion there?

Me: (I knew where he wanted me to drag into) Yes sir, in Ajerbaijan, Islam is the main religion, and in Armenia, Christianity.

M4: So, why don’t Muslim and Christians live together happily?

Me: (I wanted to get over this conversation quickly) Probably, they don’t reconcile with each others’ viewpoints and ideas.

Thankfully, he let go of this topic, and moved to my Cyprus connections.

M4: You have worked in Cyprus. So, are you aware of its history?

Me: Yes sir

M4: Can you tell us something about it?

Me: ( I was a bit confused at that time, whether he wanted the full history or the recent one). Sir, you want to know the ancient or recent one?

M4: Recent one, say after 1947.

Me: Sir, Cyprus got indpendence from England in 1961.

M4: (He interrrupted at that time, before I could move further) Who was the first president of Cyprus?

Me: President Makarios

M4: Who was he?

Me: He was the Archbishop

M4: ( He nodded) Also tell about the Cyprus problem

Me: At the time of independence, there were two communities: Greek and Turkish. There was an agreement that both the communities will be given appropriate rights and representations. However a few Greeks wanted enosis (union) with the Greek mainland, and so they revolted against the govt in 1974. In retaliation, Turkish govt invaded the island and captured 37% part of it.

M4: Was Makarios responsible for it partly?

Me: ( I thought for a while, and could find an answer) Yes sir, partly, as he was later blamed to be a bit weak, as he could have taken steps to suppress the revolt in its infancy.

Chairman: Was there any tragedy?

M4: Yes sir, there was a great loss of human lives and tragedy. People had to move from their original homes to the other part.

M4: So, is it violent still?

Me: No sir, it is very calm there, as people have access to each others region, and there is no usage of arms.

M4: Is there any lesson for India then?

Me: Definitely sir. Kashmir problem can be thought of as a similar problem, even though bigger in scale. We can allow free movement of peope across the border, as the Cypriots have done. This will not only help economy, society etc, but also help melt the ice between the people. ( And I don’t why, I elaborated a tad to much on it)

Chairman: Have you gone to President Makrios graveyard?

Me: No sir

Chairman: There are still two guards patrolling that. It is a nice place. Finally, I don’t think there is still cross-movement of people between both the regions. And if I remember correctly, there is still only 1 entry.

At that time, I was literally swept. I had spoken confidently about cross-movement of people, but hadn’t read it anywhere. Plus when he told about only 1 entry, I realised probably he has been to Cyprus, and knows a lot about it.

He continued his arguments.

Chairman: How long back you were in Cyprus.

Me: (Probably for the first time, I showed some signs of nervousness.) M3 then replied, he was there as recently as 2009. I gathered myself though, and said, we were allowed entries into North Cyprus, though we had to get visa approvals and other stuff.

Chairman: (He wasn’t amused though) Finally, tell me is the problem because of religion too?

Me: Why religion again. But I relented, yes sir, it is because of religion too.

Chairman: You may leave now

The end was so aprupt, that I thought I heard it wrongly. But gradually, I pulled myself up, wished them and marched out. Before leaving the door, I glanced back, and saw all of them nodding in unison.

That was the last part of my interview, and it was then over to self-rumination.

Analysis:-

After leaving the hall, I felt it was a good interview. However, since there was no expression on the Chairman’s face throughout the interview( which I came to know from other candidates that it was natural for him), I felt ,may be, my bloppers at the beginnig and end have done in my chances. The redeeming thing though was the nods of approval by all the members in the end. But again, I had no way to tell whether they were agreeing on my good performance or my bluffing/poor answers/lack of knowledge etc

However, the best part was that I had been totally confident, without showing any signs of nervousness ( barring briefly at the end), even when I was grilled or wasn’t able to answer a few questions. Plus I think I spoke my best English at that time (as my spoken English has never matched my written one). Also, the choice of some of the words were apt and impressive. The gestures and expressions, and style of answering too were good, at least on hindsight.

So, based on the experience/feedback of the people, that this is a Personality Test and not a Knowledge One, I expected a medium range number (say 150 – 170 out of 300). However, I was also worried that Mr Reddy’s impressions might have gone wrong, and he would award me just 120 marks.

In the end though, the experienced ones were right. I got 202, which is an excellent score (as less than 10% interviewees get above 200). Upon seeing my MarkSheet later on, I realised that it was my Interview Marks only that catapulted me not only to the final list, but also to a decent rank.

It was all credit to my confidence during the interview, and good luck ( as I later came to know that Mr Reddy generally provides more marks than other Chairmen).

In the end though, the whole Interview experience was a unique one, which apart from landing me into the Hall of Fame, also taught me a lot about myself …. 

Why action is the toughest part

Ever since the effort for better life has begun, the toughest challenge has been to put words into action. It requires monumental resolve and thump, but biggest of all, the kick to fight against your ingrained impulses. It takes time to internalize the actions, hence patience becomes a much-needed virtue then.

I have gone through all these in the recent months. Some results have come, but more disconcerting part has been when there is a feeling of all-coming-to-nothing. You have fought, but it seems there is no output. Nice to have good thoughts, but if results are not coming at a similar pace, where does the motive come from to move ahead? That is life’s biggest challenge, I suppose.

I am Car Wala

People say,”First of any kind is eternal.” Even though I possessed a car, albeit second-hand, earlier, I never felt that first ilk of feeling. But now, having bought a new car, I am experiencing what it means to be. It is a sense of possession and achievement.

Ford Figo-the name goes like this. The best way to describe it would be compact, organized and balanced. I too was moved by its completeness. It has practically every facility, viz. big sitting and boot space, 1.4 litres diesel engine, power windows, central keyless locking, music system, AC etc in its standard ZXi model. Quality and looks wise too, it is pretty, if not as classy as other brands.

Only drawback so far seems to be the big revving engine noise, but I guess that comes with the diesel engine trade-off. Also, its gearbox is not as smooth as expected. Overall though, I am satisfied.

Buying car, on an added tone, has invigorated my interest in cars. Earlier I could hardly feel an impulse to analyze a car. But now, each passing car is an object of study and comparison; a new car launch is an event; car features are matters of discussion. This is a new dimension of my knowledge now. Happy driving indeed, I can say …

At Crossroads

I hate being at cross-roads, for not only it challenges your today, but also questions your tomorrow. Suddenly life has put me again there in my personal, official, social, moral …et al …. lives. Not an envious situation, definitely.

What to follow?

A big question ……

Answer: Follow your heart :)

Be healthy and forgetting, Be blissful

A few days back, one of my friends posted this on his Facebook status,” For a successful life, one only needs a good health and the power to forget.” The more I think of it, the more it hits the truth. The catch-phrase ‘successful life’ is so discussed, yet so arcane, and individualistic, that any claimed erudition on its essentiality is at best a falsified belief. Undeniably though, this whole ethos starts from the self, and the self finds manifestation in good health. And this good health is both physical and mental, which allows an individual to work and enjoy life as it comes. This great state can only be achieved if the person has the ability to forget and forgive the past, however cruel or enticing it might have been. The philosophical import of ‘Living the moment’ can indeed be realized then. All simple …. life deciphered …. Right?

Time to Settle

When you are flushing in teenage, life is an unhindered ride of thoughts and actions. The first thing that occasions itself is the affinity towards opposite sex. An 18-year old boy can’t help falling in love with a pretty damsel of his class, and the rosy world dreams follow. You also get surrounded by closer-than-life friends with whom you share your inner self. Then college happens and again a round of infatuations starts. You get firm in belief that life is all about a throwaway attitude. Ride and swim in the bewitching world– what and where are the checkpoints. Even the best of times has to come to a stop nevertheless. You pass out from College, and Work accosts you in all its fancy and glory. Realities start hitting, with their own sets of complexities and compulsions. Life is not anymore a child’s play; it is bloody taxing and engaging. You start seeing things which you never bothered to earlier. In the process, educational and professional dreams are aroused again. Studies, career, money, excellence, settled life – all become part of necessities now – a set of no-no things during earlier times. Your private space too grows. The change is mind-boggling …. all in a space of 10 years.

Then the inevitable happens. Marriage knocks on your door. The first realization that dawns on you is it is not anymore a fairytale ‘boy meets girls’ story. You cognize that it is actually meant for the rest of your life. You start thinking in terms of its suitability. You realize a pretty wife may not be the best wife. You long for someone who understands and supports you. There is no space for the frills and thrills of yesteryears. The sexual charms, however enticing, aren’t the first checkbox either. You instead wonder whether her presence will alienate your private space which never got away from you. You reason whether you will have to abandon yourself and adopt someone else post-marriage. Nevertheless you crave for that someone. ‘Plucking the stars theme for love’ still blooms, but those stars are bred on earth now. You theoretically believe in ‘all-for-you’ marriage, but also wonder whether she will the life-blood of you, as you want to be hers. Your wish list is radically changed. You again Ride and Swim, this time though in the unknown world.

What a departure from the times of yore!!!

Office Life is Intoxicating

Very seldom will one say this. But having missed corporate life for close to one year, I felt some kind of desperation to join the software company back. It took some patient wait by me, but finally I was back in my earlier company, this time in Gurgaon. And to tell you frankly, no sooner than 2 or 3 days later, I was assimilated. The same old work, the same/similar faces and voices of colleagues, juniors, managers, the same project and the same kinda sick office feeling too. But intermittent between these was also a rejuvenated sense of starting it again, this time differently and intently. Not that earlier I was working shoddily, but now there is a sense of purpose and desire too to excel my work. It has been contributed no less by my last year’s work and experience when I was finally doing something from my heart and hum.

So, the normal routine has ensued now. It also has given a glimpse into the temporality of time. It already seems last year is last decade. So are the memories, both good and bad, of it. As someone said, we only value the time when it is gone, and no time is worth not valuing. In simple terms, enjoy the present. In those terms, my life sets out again with new goals in sight and with new means of work. Happy sailing!!!

If Ever I could Say, Sleepless in Delhi

Indeed I am, Sleepless in Delhi. Not for any lost miss, but because of the ****ing cold. I haven’t been able to sleep properly for the last 3 nights, as the frigid cold keeps on penetrating the scores of clothings, which I keep adding on and around myself, somehow. In the day, the bed is a virtual ice-layer, so no chance of respite even then. I had thought only Delhi heat could be an irritant, but I must say, the last few days cold, has even beaten that.

Delhi has become even colder than Paris and Madrid, despite it being lying in the Tropical Zone. It must be because of the global-warming industries which have effected such a catastrophic change in the climate worldwide. Such avaricious fellows. Or is it because of the pollution around Delhi which augments both heat and cold? Stupid Delhites.

Meteorologists say it is going to be like this for another week. Phew! I can only say, this time around, Delhi has shown to me the extremes of both summer and winter, and I dare say, in fact repeat, that I hadn’t experienced any of it before in my life. Bravo!

Re-entry

Back with a bang! My blog, I missed you so much.

What a ride it was all these last few months. A taxing one, but definitely exhilarating and enriching. It has been only since the last month that I have got a chance to do the long-listed things during that period. Movies and novels are back, and so are the merry visits to the friends and family.

More fulfilling has been the various small travels that I have undertaken recently. While visit to Varanasi and Sarnath was religiously suffusing, the travel to rural areas was an eye-opener and soother both. What joy, car meandering through the desolate but well-laid roads, flanked by the swaying paddy crops, presenting the full stretch of greenery beyond it in an attempt to kiss the horizons. No literary hyberbole can express the ecstasy showered upon me then, who had long been lost from such bucolic charms. A day or two of rural India can really enliven you, if you just stick to the untarnished environment. But the reality of its misery dawns upon you as soon as you start observing the neglect perpetrated on its even very rudimentary aspects. I won’t dwell on the education, health, infrastructure etc problems, as they are, however rude and indifferent it may sound, considered genetic. But what was eye-sore was the sheer apathy that had been tendered towards the Rural Development Schemes that had been started, and are supposedly run by the Government. I should supplant ‘corruption’ with ‘apathy’ here, as the decrepit buildings of the ‘Block Resource Centers’, ‘Kasturba Gandhi Balika Vidyalaya’, ‘Sarv Shiksha Abhiyaan-Medium and High Schools’ etc won’t present a different story. It is better not to think more, as the national level scandals- Aadarsh, Commonwealth, 2G, Housing Loans etc’ are even more sickening. Ah! Sorry blog, for polluting the moment with these souring tales.

Anyway, back in Delhi now and back to some sort of pre-routine. But as expected, this is again going to be really wonderful. I am game for it, more than ever.